Emigration.

Although there's nothing wrong with Blogger per se, I've decided to move.
The new address is dudeigotsablog.wordpress.com.
Come find me.
Follow me.
Obey me.
Okay maybe not so much the last one but definitely follow me.

Dear Tyra, Stoppit.

Warning. This is a rant. Nothing eloquent. Now we all know that Tyra's completely over the top and dramatic but she has also been making moves for herself, especially where hair care is concerned. Her episode on hair involving black children, more specifically black little girls was sad but horribly truthful. It happens. However, early this evening my lovely roomie, T, shared with me a very troubling video. Naturalistas will understand and e'rebody else...well I'll try to explain. In order to do this, I've drawn up a short list of things wrong with the single video that I saw that lasted all of one minute and about 40 seconds. One hundred minutes of video actually had me upset enough with Tyra and her minion to spawn an entire blog post. Brava, Tyra. Brava.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omoDDCOgcQl

1.First of all, this lady that has told us she's a "professional" has see-through edges. Like as in I can see her scalp through her hair. As a "professional", I'd hope you'd know how to take care of your business before trying to give me tips on managing mine. No, miss lady. No.

2. Secondly, I'd like to be superduper mean and say that this lady either has a speech impediment that she's trying really hard not to let show, or she's reading off of cards. I understand that you want everyone to understand you so yo enunciate ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. However, you just come off as weird, unnatural and having some issues that require a class on public speaking. Tyra, you should have found a better spokeswoman.

3. What exactly was the production value? I mean, this lady is probably just in front of a sheet in Tyra's house but you could at least have have made sure we knew it had 1000 thread count and was made of the finest Egyptian cotton. I think even Bin Laden's videos had better scenery and a far better prop master. At least try to make us seem like you put some kind of effort into this instead of realizing at the last minute that you had another segment to do.

4. Personally, I wanted her to show us exactly what her hair would look like after using all of this madness on her hair. If you're going to spew all this crap at me, at least provide me with a before and after shot just so I know that if my hair ends up looking like yours, I've clearly made a wrong turn on the road to fabulousness.

5. Nowhere, during my learning about styling natural hair have I seen any of the lovely women on Youtube use curling iron on their hair without a roller set or anything else less invasive. She makes it sound like this is safe for your hair...without a real heat protectant and is safe to do often. Maaaaybe she didn't mean it that way, but it certainly didn't seem like it.

And now for my biggest problem with this:
6. You want me to leave this curling iron on my hair for how long? 60 seconds? I'm pretty sure hair or any texture would at least begin to disintegrate. Even in my most extreme phase of flat ironing my hair, I did not leave it on there for an entire minute at a time and just wait for it to burn off. What hair stylist do you know that subscribes to such ideals and still manages to keep clientele with healthy heads of hair. No, it's ok. I'll wait. None? Didn't think so.

I almost feel like someone gave this woman a wikipaedia page on how to handle natural hair. But not a good one. Like one of those pages written by complete morons.

Thus I have come to this conclusion: Tyra and Miss "professional" type lady, I'd like you both to sit down and shaddap! Leave natural hair to actual professionals and the absolutely fabulous women on Youtube. Please and thank you.

Note: In the middle of writing this post and trying to view the rest of the posted videos, they were made private. Funny eh? I'll assume Tyra took a hint from the pissedthehelloffcannotbelieveshesinsultinguslikethis truthful comments made on her videos. Thanks Tyra. It's appreciated but please, call somebody else for natural hair tips!

#19 on the list of Crap They neglect To Tell You About Post-College Life

#19 on the list of Crap They Neglect To Tell You About Post-College Life: You'll really really miss your roommates at extremely strange times.

Roommates are kind of like built in safeguards for bad relationship decisions, homework help, watching Criminal Minds (and really bad movies), bad hair days and your own personal fashion consultants especially when two are fellow music majors and one was a fashion major. Yeah. My roomies have all been kick-ass artsy hotties. What can I say? We roll deep yo. Anyway, since I no longer live with them, they're no longer my own personal mirrors to present outfits and the spoils of recent shopping trips. Be that as it may, I've found a new way to get through to my lovelies...and whomever else may be lurking. So here you are. Post #1 on my shopping spoils...

Okay look. It's not a new idea but this was my first attempt at putting it into practice. Instead of going to uber-cheap, soul-sucking, fringe-putting-on-everything Forever 21 why not try the neighborhood thrift store. Everyone knows that I'm pretty hooked on the wonders that lurk beneath the grime of the thrift store on route 38 and despite my love for it, even I had fallen victim to trend-lust. More specifically, I'd fallen in love with the midi length chiffon skirt. Don't ask why, I just did. The way they flow and flutter in the wind or the way they can go perfectly with a t-shirt and still manage me make me look feminine. Hang on. Even the cheapie ones on Forever 21 start at $15. Okay $15 for an investment piece or a classic closet staple is one thing. A gamble that starts at $15 a pop that I'm not sure about isn't exactly a wise decision. So, I decided on the next best thing. My wonderful grunge laden, funny smelling thrift store for the super cheap opportunity to try out a recent trend. And it's even better when the thrift store pays off.

Not sure you can tell from the picture but this thing was a win on so many fronts. It's black which means it not only will with everything I can wear it to work. Score. Plus, it's got pleats (which I do love) but they aren't severe or super sharp which keeps the skirt floaty and soft. And on top of that, it's washer safe, thank goodness! On the downside, it was a little big so I had to pin it and belt but you can't really tell and it's incredibly sheer which means either biking shorts, tights or a slip underneath. And besides none of those things really matter because I got to scratch my trend itch AND I spend exactly $1.50. Beat that.

“Contagion.” Not bad. Not mad I paid for it.

Steven Soderbergh has always brought a unique visual style to his films from “Oceans Eleven” to “Erin Brockovich” to “Traffic” not to mention “The Informant.” In fact, I didn’t realize quite how much I admired his work until I looked through his IMDB page. But I digress. Anyway, my lovely friend, A and I were both very excited to see this film mainly because of the commercials and the exceptional cast.

Let me say this. This was not by any stretch a bad movie or even a mediocre film. The pacing for the first hour was phenomenal, the visual style was engaging and the wealth of talent in that cast was considerable. Literally, every scene presents a new incredible actor from Marion Cotilliard, (“La Vie En Rose”) Matt Damon, (sexy in the Bourne series) and Laurence Fishburn, (Othello) to Sanaa Lathan (AVP) and Jude Law (Sherlock Holmes) plus Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad). Exactly how much of the budget was spent on cast salaries??? Oops, another slight detour!

Anyway, despite the fact that the last 20 minutes dragged a bit, that wasn’t the actual issue. It was actually how underused the cast was. The biggest asset (the cast) to this film was giving it the most problems. These are engaging actors but the script gave very little room for actual character development and forming emotional bonds with these characters was tricky simply because there wasn’t enough time. There were so many characters to pay attention to while simultaneously paying attention to the conflicts and progression of the story. There was a lot to digest and sadly the phenomenal cast didn’t always get the time they deserved.

All in all, I dub this film worthy of not only the ticket money I bled for, but I will definitely buy this on DVD for the film and the special features. Whereas it didn’t resort to the same kind of overblown theatrics that its pathogen predecessor, “Outbreak” did, “Contagion” was still a good film and well worth seeing especially if you’re interested in the political and scientific steps taken when a disease threatens the population and the dangers of fear and mass panic that can and does effect the healthy. Okay, sounds boring when you say it like that, but either way, you should watch it.

Trailer Rundown

Trailer Rundown
So everybody knows that the additional treat that goes with going to the movies are the previews. It’s especially nice when you get paid to record them. Attached to the prestigiously cast film “Contagion” were 5 previews of films that I’d love to see in one venue or another. Observe.
1. Killer Elite: Jason Statham, Clive Owen and Robert DeNiro. Awesome cast but Statham’s films are never guaranteed to be awesome. Fun? Yes. Absurd? Always. Worth money I’ve bled over. Surely not. Final decision: Looks like a good Redbox candidate.
2. 50/50: A cancer comedy. I mean, cancer is one of those things where you have to either laugh or cry and after the millions of depressing cancer films, I’m actually hopeful that taking a cue from Showtime’s “The Big C” humorous approach will pay off and even if it’s dismal, I’ll still get to look at Joseph Gordon Levitt.
3. The Thing: So the same producers who got a hold of “Dawn of the Dead” are taking a crack at this classic paranoia story…in its third re-incarnation. Whereas they’re promising this to be a prequel, I still don’t think it’ll quite be able to live up to its predecessors.
4. Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows: Listen. I loved the first film. Loved it. Still do. Therefore, I will pay my blood money to see this in theaters. Loved Noomi Rapace in the original version of the Millenium Series films plus Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law had incredible chemistry on the first trip. God willing, we won’t have to only rely on their chemistry and animal magnetism to carry the film and ex-Mr. Madonna will deliver another stylish, energized romp with everyone’s eccentric sleuth.
5. The Dark Knight Rises: Look, I’ve been committed to this franchise since I was a toddler. Thus, I will be seeing this film no matter how confident I am that this cannot live up to its predecessor. They’ll really need to sell me on Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle, I’ma pray Tom Hardy will have his shirt off often as Bane and if Christian Bale growls throughout this movie, both he and Christopher Nolan will receive an angry vulgar soundbite from moi. Oh you’ll get my blood money but, no growling Christian. You’ve been warned.

Well, I have plenty to look forward to in the next few months. Yup, I'll be researching ways to sell my plasma to pay for my movie tickets...but
I'll pretty happy about it.

The Crow Remake. For this, someone will pay.

Nothing is original these days. Most things are referential in some way or another and that's not always bad. Critics are saying that we're far less prone to create than to copy and they may be on to something. Retro fashions are back en vogue again with some hipsters looking like they got dressed via a 1962 catalog instead of as a 20 year old in the 21st century. Even music is highly referential with the retro sounding Adele and the late great Amy Winehouse topping the charts. Now, these are (and were) great performers and artists in their own right with incredible voices and writing abilities but making references to ages long gone and using it to create your own sound is one thing. However, blatant reproduction pisses me off. Enter Hollywood.

We all get that films are a huge financial gamble and that commercial films are supposed to make money. Like anyone else, Hollywood big wigs want a sure thing. Come clean though, because honestly who doesn't? But don't, for the love of all things holy, sacred and grungy, take a cult classic like "The Crow" and think you can do it better. That film was made at the right time, had the perfect dark and moody feel and one of the most tragic backstories ever. You cannot fabricate that kind of story or replicate the kind of effect it had on an audience not to mention the built in publicity. So exactly what powerful medications do you think execs were on to think that Bradley Cooper, Mark Wahlberg, or Channing Tatum could do a better job in the titular role. No, it's fine. I'll wait. What did you come up with? Nothing powerful enough, I take it. Unless someone communed with the ghost of Brandon Lee and he's given you explicit instructions on how to one up his death before shooting even finished, there's no fragging way this is going to be a socially acceptable decision. And while we're on the subject of announced bad remakes, Judge Dredd? Really? I'm not sure even Karl Urban's handsome face can save that one. And what a face it is...

photo borrowed from www.enthunder.com. Please don't sue. I beg you.

**Another note, supposedly they're also remaking "Short Circuit." Once again, nothing from my childhood is sacred.
***Oh yeah, plus a "Romancing the Stone" remake. Now it's turned into a game to see who can find the most obscure '80s and '90s movies to redo. I love these movies and I wish they wouldn't ruin them for future generations...and me.

Boot Lust: damn you Asos

Can't lie to you, I'm a girl. Gasp! I thought you knew! Anyway, as a girl, I happen to enjoy shoes. But, as a self-proclaimed tomboy, I'm not talking pumps...I'm talking boots. Last night my best friend had to talk me down from the ledge from a state away. Her steady stream of "Don't buy them" texts almost didn't work...until I realized that I am still unemployed. But that's why I have a credit card, right? Right guys??? Oh c'mon. I assure you, they're worth it:

http://us.asos.com/Blink-Blink-Distressed-Lace-Up-Boot/vw1cu/?iid=1403698&cid=1931&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=200&sort=3&clr=Grey&mporgp=L0JsaW5rL0JsaW5rLURpc3RyZXNzZWQtTGFjZS1VcC1Cb290L1Byb2Qv


So if someone had $45 just lying around collecting dust, I'm a size 7. Please and thank you.

Slacker...

Slacking once again. My bad. While stalking theloveship.blogspot.com, which I enjoy for her occasionally random and out of left field fashion choices, the writer mentioned an utterly wonderful tumblr which everyone should now venture to...immediately:
ofanotherfashion.tumblr.com

Up next, movies that I loved this summer and the ones that were a complete waste of 2 hours of my life. Peace, love and chicken grease.

Narcissists invaded by Shreks. My heart bleeds.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for self-esteem. In fact, I'm working on my own levels of self-love. However, we all know that there is a fine line between self-love and respect and full blown narcissism. Apparently these people do not. The internet has the power to bring people with similar ideals together and give them a place to meet like-minded people. In the case of BeautifulPeople.com, it is a place to shallow pretty folks to meet others like them who's primary desirable quality is a good looks. Then these dumb-asses had the nerve to be upset when normal looking people hacked their website. Duh.

So the Huffington Post posted this article:
www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/20/beautifulpeople-hacked_n_880270.html

I'm having trouble finding sympathy for this one.

Rabbit Hole....

So every once in a while I fall into the Rabbit Hole that is the internet which results in hours upon hours of YouTube videos, blogs and other various time wasting sites. I present you with a site I stumbled upon via my new blog obsession: Instant Vintage at innyvinny.com. Love her! She's hilarious, a thrift shop connoisseur, jewelry maker and fashionista. She's awesome so look her up. Coinsidentally, she lead me to this little gem....it's like they know me or something...

www.whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com

Goodbye Mall, Hello Secondhand.

So while lurking for the nine millionth time in the Freehold mall and simultaneously contemplating the incredible fashion and natural hair blogs which have become a part of my morning ritual, I had a thought. After making a conscious decision to eat far less meat and processed food and introduce astronomical amounts of fresh foods into my diet (which is harder than it sounds when you’re unemployed), I figured that there had to be some other conscious decisions to make my own personal bubble a greener place. Standing in the middle of a crowded mall with teenyboppers all wearing the same clothes from the same stores, it hit me. Why not try something outside of the mall?

Then I really thought about it. How much of my closet is comprised of clothing from Forever 21? Far more than is healthy. In the past year and a half, most of my purchases consist of stuff from this chain not because of its quality but because of its price. Let’s face it. They sell cheap stuff. Another fact to deal with: you get what you pay for. The clothes from these places are blatant knockoffs from other designers and chains. My friend Alyssa and I went shopping one day and literally saw the same garment in Forever 21 that we had seen in H&M that very same day for almost $10 cheaper! In theory this sounds like a win until you think about the fact that this very same piece will last about as long as the trend itself. Once again, sounds like a win until you realize that inevitably, you will throw said piece away contributing to the behemoth amounts of garbage that our world is already swimming in. Not to mention the rumors that these money hungry-fashion-clone-factories are producing record amounts of waste themselves. Bravo.

Ok so here’s the question: how do I still get the thrill of shopping without spending gross amounts of money, find quality clothing while keeping a green thumbprint?
Then, like bird poop, it hit me! Vintage and second hand clothing! Throughout my recent fascination with all things natural hair and fashion, I noticed that these bloggers wore a great deal of rescued clothes in addition to fashions procured through the usual channels all creating fantastic individual styles. Honestly, I was probably born in the wrong decade and every time fashion trends from ages past come back in style, I get excited. So, the plan is in order to jumpstart this attitude, I will not allow myself to buy anything fashion related (with socks, bras and underwear being the exceptions) from a chain store for 14 weeks. Don’t ask me why that long. It just seemed like a good idea. So, with the aid of my fashion consultant/best friend A, we will construct a fanciful wonderland within the realm of my closet with the aid of vintage and used clothing! I’ve completely justified my shopaholicism by saying it’ll be green. Why am I allowed to go about this world unchaperoned?
As a side note, I am in no way, shape or form a fashionista or environmentalist. But, trying to be green seems like a good idea and when I think long and hard about it, it should pan out in the long run. I’ve never really been a fan of looking exactly like everyone else so here’s my chance to change that and be slightly Earth-conscious about it. I will NEVER drive a Prius and still haven’t gotten the hang of keeping those reusable bags handy but I mean, baby steps, right?

Scissor Happy

Yes, I’m a cutter….but not in the way that you think. You see dear friends, when I get bored with my coif, I’m prone to cutting it. Taking off inches when my hair reached just below my shoulders when relaxed was common place either because of split ends or simply because I wanted it cut. My dear roommate fussed many times about my frequent run-ins with scissors. The boredom issue is now compounded with the fact that there are still about 2 inches of relaxed ends attached to my coiled roots meaning caring for my hair has become a dubious task with my natural roots and relaxed ends unable to reach an agreement on which treatments they can both agree with. Scissors, please.

Might not sound like such a big problem until you consider how different these two beings really are. The Relaxed hair (we’ll call her Medusa for now) agrees with only the cholesterol treatments but natural hair (refer to her as Foxy Cleopatra) prefers oil on a daily basis and/or my special leave-in concoction inspired by KimmayTube consisting of Shea butter, aloe vera gel, coconut oil, sweet almond oil and handy olive oil. In fact, Medusa HATES the leave-in and gets crunchy when I use Eco-Styler Gel. Meh. In fact, this problem would have turned me into a product junkie if I weren't so broke. Never thought I say this but, thanks unemployment.

The follicle discord has been making my curly ‘fros and Bantu twist outs literally crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside. For food, this can be a lovely thing but not for my hair! Besides the tension between my Jekyll and Hyde textures, wearing nothing but curly ‘fros for the past three and a half months have me itching for the scissors. Even switching it up for the past three weeks with updos, experiments with Bantu knots (which have been causing serious knotting for some reason) and a flat twist in the front haven’t been able to keep me from gleefully snatching the scissors and chopping it all off! So okay, how do I hang onto the relaxed ends to keep some length while simultaneously keeping my hair presentable and keeping the temptation to cut my hair at bay? The answer was simple. Braid the biznaches up! Done deal. Medusa shall be spared for now. Now let’s see how long it takes for me to miss my curls. Vicious cycle, vicious I tell you!

Anybody else get scissor crazy or have issues with the dueling textures?

Detest Bobby Flay. LOVE Bobby's Burger Palace.

Not gonna lie. I think Bobby Flay is a horrible, arrogant little man and I absolutely relish his losses on Iron Chef America. Yes Bobby, we all know that Southwestern cuisine is your thing but it does not need to be applied to every single dish you concoct! No, I'm not a professional food critic but just the arrogance he oozes through my t.v. does plenty to offend me. Perhaps now you'll understand just how much it pains me to say that I absolutely love his new restaurant.

My wonderful best friend (lets call her Z) took me out for the day to celebrate my 23rd birthday. One of my gifts besides a scenic tour of a particular area of West Philly that I had never seen before was dinner at Bobby's Burger Palace on Walnut Street. As soon as you enter the place, the decor has you fascinated. The whole setup is that of a retro diner joint with shiny wooden counter-tops and a color palette consisting of browns and oranges. With the vintage seventies styling with wavy counters, rows of booths and tables, and cookout style dispensers with several different kinds of sauces, it was a pretty chill place to be while still maintaining a bit of class.

It was actually a simple arrangement that somehow felt foreign. While the food is prepared, you get your own drinks (which are served in those plastic ice tea glasses that you know you've had at a cookout) and seat yourself. Now for the food! We played it safe and got Palace Classic Burgers (which is just a standard burger with cheese, onion, tomato and lettuce) and added bacon. A burger is not a burger without bacon. I must admit, it was a new experience getting a burger that quickly that wasn't wrapped in paper and instead was quite attractively arranged on a real plate. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I have a serious love of burgers and this one was absolutely wonderful. It was a good sized burger but it wasn't so large that I needed a take-out container afterward. My biggest problem with "Red Robin" is that the burgers are so big that I can't even wrap my mouth around one let alone finish it in one sitting! The "Palace" burger was just the right size. There was even a special sauce on the bun and one included with the fries which was quite tasty. On top of all this loveliness, you can order beer!!! Or, if you're feeling especially adventurous, a margarita!

Now, this place isn't nearly as cheap as fast food and is more on par with places like Chili's in terms of price. The real problem with this place is how you like your burger cooked. If you're not a fan of a burger that's a little pink inside, you may not like this place because, according to Z, even if you do order your burger well done, you may not get it. All in all, I approve of this place and cannot wait to go back! It's got the service speed of fast food, the laid back feel of a diner but the prices akin to "Red Robin" and the quality of a classy restaurant. Congrats, Bobby Flay. You've done something right. It's so good in fact, that you can almost be forgiven for the name of the place...almost.

Lets not mince words. The lies they fed me about hair as a child.

Being as how this is my blog and all, I feel there is a matter of contention that I would like to take the opportunity to address without being ridiculed for it. After deciding to cease my dealings with the “creamy crack”, I began to research and stumbled upon no less than two dozen natural hair blogs and websites. Many testimonials go back to the beginning to talk about their hair journeys and who influenced them as children. In contemplating this same question, I discovered a wealth of resentment. As an impressionable child, my notions of what hair was capable of were heavily influenced by no less than four lying and deceitful entities. What were these entities you ask? Well let’s troll the list, shall we?

4. Comic book characters (Mainly Storm from X-Men): Not only did the female comic book characters have incredible and gravity defying locks, but so did some of the men! Not fair! So I sit there and try to figure out why my hair won’t flow crazily like Storm’s resulting in my obtaining a long white skirt, securing it to my head and pretending it was hair. Whoopi Goldberg had a t-shirt and I had a skirt. Sad, but incredibly true.

3. Christie Dolls: So remember that black friend that Barbie had? Yeah, that was Christie and in my mother’s vain efforts to feminize me, bought me several Christie dolls. Needless to say, they did not make me more girly. In fact, they only succeeded in making me into even more of a tomboy. Sorry Mom. However, a secondary side effect of these dolls was to confuse me even more about what my hair was supposed to look like. I was a light skinned little girl with thick, tightly coiled hair that, even with the repeated abuse of a hot comb, rebelled into an unruly cloud. My parents said they got me the Christie dolls because she looked the most like me when in fact, she looked the least like me. Light with coiled hair versus brown skinned Amazon with thick straight hair. Yeah sure. We look exactly alike. I mean, of course all Barbie derivatives are gross perversions of human anatomy but the hair??? In hind sight, even Beyonce does have a lace front to compete with the hair of those dolls, Barbie OR Christie! My hair never even remotely resembled that of those dolls on its “best” days. Even after my first relaxer, I went back to the dolls to compare and it wasn’t even close. I swear that doll laughed at me. It’s ok because I stuck one of them in the microwave once. Her hair was never the same again…

2. Beyonce: Fabulous as she may be, she lied. She freaking lied to me. Around 1999/2000ish, I was given my first mainstream CD that was all mine: “The Writing’s on the Wall” and I loved it. Once again, there was a side effect: I wanted to look like Beyonce…and her hair. Even later, throughout the scandal, replacement and reformation of Destiny’s Child, I loved Beyonce…and her hair. When she struck out on her own, I decided that hers was the look I wanted eventually. Then, the bombshell! The hair that I had been privy to was, in fact, hers only in the sense that she’d bought it and had a receipt. So the only way to have her hair is not to pray each night for long hair like I had been doing but to go to a store and buy it??? Beyonce was officially by first lesson in the deception that is fake hair. Don’t get me wrong, I find nothing wrong with braids or a good weave but she should have given a disclaimer that her hair was in fact, not hers. Just a little common courtesy was all I wanted.

And now for the grand finale!!! The biggest impact on my follicle delusions:
#1. Disney Princesses: Yeah, I said it. You may remember the Facebook bumper sticker a while ago that shared the same sentiment. As much as I love Ariel and Aurora, Pocahontas, and especially Jasmine, no human being on earth has hair like they do and no little black girl with curly, coiled hair was ever going to either. At least Snow White kept it reasonable with her little shoulder length helmet that was very 1920s in its styling and Belle had books on her brain instead of vanity. So, it’s understandable that she wouldn’t vetch to the animators about having longer locks. It’s probably why she was my favorite Disney princess too! She did lie about her hair! Those other heifers though? Filthy liars. Once again, parents should give their daughters disclaimers and warn them gently that “I love you baby so I won’t lie to you. Your hair will never look like hers.” I feel it would be much more humane that allowing a child to grow up to believe that she too can have unnaturally red hair like Ariel or the glorious crown of Jasmine’s hair. Don’t get me started on Jasmine though because she just makes me mad. From the hair, to the unnatural curves that she has (that I still want) to the huuuuge eyes, she’s probably the reason why so many people are plastic surgery addicts. Thanks a lot Jas...but I digress.

And there you have it. The childhood conditioning for screwy follicle perception. And the ringleader in all this madness: Walt freakin’ Disney!!!

**Reader beware. For the most part, I’m half serious about my post at most but even humor has some basis in reality.**

The Borgias: Not a replacement for The Tudors...yet.

In theory, "The Borgias" sounds like the perfect replacement for the outstanding series "The Tudors" which ended last year especially when you take into account the fact that Jeremy Irons plays the patriarch of this ambitious and screwy family. Don't get me wrong, I love Spartacus (I have yet to experience "Spartacus: Blood and Sand" yet but I'm getting there) but sometimes, the blood and orgies get to be too much. Taking into account the plethora of period series produced by the premium channels to fill "The Tudors" void, surely "The Borgias would fill it nicely right? Maybe not.

First off, there was a preponderance of t.v. shows just lined up waiting for the end of Showtime's juggernaut "The Tudors." It presented history in a way that was palatable and simultaneously unpredictable. The show melded history with embellished storylines while still staying true to the spirit of King Henry VIII's time. The audience was given context, good writing, good acting and fantastic costuming and sets. More importantly, although nearly everyone was familiar with the story already, the audience remains engaged from the pilot to the series finale.

The creators of "The Borgias" tried the same thing but it feels like they may have rushed it. They have the costumes and lush scenery down pat and visually, you are sucked into the story. However, between the sub par writing and TERRIBLE wig they've befitted Juan Borgia with, it's easy to lose interest. It seems like the creators took notes from "Tudors" but missed the part about a good script. They took a pretty known dynasty (substitute Tudors for the Borgias), both power hungry families (one a king and one a pope), and both with pretty scandalous sexual escapades (substitute a king with six wives for a pope with 4 children and countless mistresses). Everybody paid attention to the set design and costumes beautifully and the casting is decent (looove Francois Arnaud as Ceasare Borgia and of course Jeremy Irons) but the writing and pacing is really preventing this from being a standout. Its off somehow and I can only hope and pray that the show finds its rhythm in the subsequent episodes.

They had three immediate predecessors to compete with in "The Tudors", HBO's "Rome", and Starz's "The Pillars of the Earth" miniseries in addition to the current period lineup of Showtime's own "Spartacus: Gods of the Arena", not to mention competition from the fantasy realm in the new Starz series "Camelot" and the highly anticipated HBO series "Game of Thrones." There's a lot of old school treachery on t.v. and I sincerely hope "The Borgias" can prove the show is worthy to be a viable contender for "The Tudors" place. Don't disappoint me now.

Being Human: My new love.

There's been a plethora of vampire and werewolf driven film and television series that have been let loose on poor unsuspecting viewers in the past couple years and much of it hasn't been all that great. True Blood is the exception for me but that's more of a guilty pleasure full of gore and nudity that real substance. Being Human provides me with what "The Walking Dead" did for me with zombies: gave me gore and violence with actual human soul and misery. That sounds completely undesirable but with monsters like ghosts, werewolves and vamps, it can be easy to forget that they were once human. Being Human brings vampire and werewolves back to their vicious roots and away from the teenage romantic perversion that they've become so recently (thanks to "Twilight"). Thank you Syfy!

Okay so brief summary: A 200 year old (played by sinister sexy Sam Witwer) and a baby werewolf (portrayed by the adorable Sam Huntington) move in together as roommates into a house which is, coincidentally, already inhabited or rather haunted by a ghost (Meaghan Rath). In theory, this combination shouldn't work at all. This should be cornier than True Blood, The Vampire Diaries and Twilight combined and that's A LOT of corniness! Being Human also shouldn't work because it's based on a preexisting UK series of the same name which means it shouldn't translate as well in its US reincarnation. It just never works out as well when you try to copy an original especially when from another country. The UK's language may be English, but they're still culturally a bit foreign! :)

"Being Human" gives you the combination of supernatural elements with great writing and good acting, both of which have been seriously lacking in other supernatural series as of late. These characters are understated in ways that make them accessible and believable. The wolf is goofy, the ghostie is pretty neurotic and the vamp is convincingly conflicted. These characters are likable and likable characters are on the short list of requirements for a successful series. The audience has to care about the main characters enough to come back every week and for the most part, they deliver. Rath as the ghost unable to move on is a little annoying but still likable all the same and Witwer plays the tortured centuries old vampire with much more credibility than his t.v. vamp counterparts. But Huntington's performance as the goofy and awkward werewolf is wonderful and brings a lightheartedness and vulnerability that makes his plight all the more painful.

What is most interesting about this show for me is that all parties acknowledge that they are monsters and the show emphasizes how truly dangerous a human/monster relationship would be. There are few illusions about their natures and "Being Human" works hard to eradicate the myth that humans, vampires, and werewolves can be chummy with no real consequences. The monster's point of view has always been the more fascinating idea to me. Who cares what the villagers and the victims feel. What exactly is going through the monster's mind as he accidentally throws a little girl into a lake (Frankenstein's monster) or attempts to sever the carotid artery of his love because she just smelled so tasty (Wolfman). Cheers to the creators, actors and writers of "Being Human". You've brought it back to basics and it works!!! But, it's just the first season so hopefully they'll keep it up for season 2.

It's Happened!!!! A single from Incubus' new album!!!

There's something you should know. Incubus is my favorite band and they've earned that title after over a decade of creativity and the upcoming release of their seventh album. In fact, they released a single for "If Not Now, When?" today (link down below) called "Adolescents" and I almost puddled myself. Good music that's highly anticipated has the power to induce a high only rivaled by a stage adrenaline rush. Even a certain illegal herb's influence is incomparable to that feeling...not that I would know...

As a fan, I've gotten my fix and it should last me until the full album is released. As a musician, it's got a sharp and clean sound with Mike Einziger's guitar work demonstrating in spades why he is awesome along with his four band mates. It's very chill and you can hear that this album may reflect some of the experimenting they've been doing sing Light Grenades. And of course, Brandon Boyd can do no wrong. However, this track sounds like a continuation of Light Grenades with some of the strange glimmer of Morning View. Already, I'm troubled. In the past, Incubus albums seldom overlap with one another which is part of their appeal. One never expects to hear the same thing twice from these brilliant men and yet, I already hear echos of past works. But then again, maybe I'm just being paranoid. You tell me.

http://adolescents.enjoyincubus.com/

Allow me to introduce myself...

Random and incoherence are the best adjectives to describe my world and so I've created this blog. I like space and geek glasses, piano, fashion, love music, movies and popping bubble wrap. I believe in sadism in small amounts and the tooth fairy. Currently, I'm discovering how much happier my hair makes me when it isn't stick straight. Spock is my homie. Flaws consist of stubbornness, thinking before speaking and interest in all things slightly off and very sketchy. The Silence of the Lambs is one of my favorite films, never miss an episode of Criminal Minds or CSI. Dr. Gregory House is my hero. Janelle Monae is awesome and so are my younger brother's locs. Am currently working to have a law passed make daily nap time a legal requirement. Enter at your own peril.